I haven’t done a motherhood type of post in a while! Posting my outfits is easy because I get dressed every day anyways and setting up my camera to snap a few outfit photos is quick. It probably takes me 5-10 minutes to get pictures of what I am wearing and another 20 minutes to edit and do a post about it.
Motherhood posts usually take me longer to write and I have to have a specific topic on my heart for the content to flow.
I don’t like to make up content or just force things just to post something on here. I hope that this blog inspires other moms in more ways than just fashion, but to help encourage and uplift and make you realize that we all share the same struggles.
So then, why are we so hard on ourselves and each other? Being a mom is hard work and it’s even harder when we are constantly feeling guilty for little things that we should not feel guilty about.
So instead of writing a post about all of the motherhood struggles I am facing right now or about all the things I want to do better, I am going to write about all of the things we shouldn’t feel guilty about.
So if you are feeling guilty about any of these things, stop. You are normal. You are an amazing mom and if you are truly doing your very best, then you are doing enough.
So stop feeling guilty about:
Being a stay at home mom or working mom
Whether you work full-time or are a stay at home mom, or do both like I do (I work part time and stay at home the rest of the time), stop feeling guilty about this.
There will always be those mean people that can’t mind their own business that will judge you either way.
If you work full time people say you are not raising your own kids. If you are a stay at home mom people say you are lazy and don’t do anything all day.
Both of these judgments are wrong and you need to ignore them and do what works for your family – and do it well!
Being a “helicopter mom”
Don’t feel guilty for being that mom that is always keeping a close eye on your children.
I’ve had people tell me that I am too worried about my kids all the time and that “they will be fine, give them some freedom.” My answer is that I don’t want to.
As long as they are my children and they are living under my roof, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure they are safe, happy and thriving. Even if that means I am always keeping a close eye on them.
I monitor what they watch, what music they listen to and I keep a close eye on them at the playground to make sure they won’t fall or run off.
I don’t feel guilty for loving my kids so much that I can’t bear the thought of them getting hurt on my watch.
Especially when they are so little.
They aren’t aware of all the dangers around them and it’s my job to keep them safe and protected not only from physical danger, but from things that they are too young to be exposed to yet.
Not wanting visitors
Don’t feel guilty for not wanting visitors, even family.
Many times I just want to be alone with Jason and the kids. I love our family time and cherish it because before I know it, the kids will be grown and I will miss having them home.
This leads me to my next point, saying No.
Don’t feel guilty for saying no to your kids when you know it’s good for them, saying no to a friend when you are tired and just want to stay home, saying no to planning events or hosting holidays.
Sometimes saying No is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Your Postpartum Body
Don’t feel guilty for gaining a few pounds, having loose skin on your stomach, stretch marks, saggy boobs or whatever else it is.
Don’t feel like you have to make excuses for your changed body. You had a baby!
I remember the first time I wore a swimsuit after having the kids I kept making comments like “oh, my postpartum belly” or “excuse my cellulite legs, I got so much cellulite after my second.” I felt insecure and like I needed to explain why my body wasn’t perfectly toned, tan and lean.
Even though I eat healthy for the most part and consistently workout 5 times/week, I still have a postpartum body.
My body will never be like it was before babies and I am ok with that.
Let your child watch tv so you can take care of other things
I’m sure we’ve all done this and maybe felt guilty one time or another but why? Sometimes it’s the only way we can get things done without a million interruptions.
Asking dad to watch the kids so you can sleep in
A little bonding time with daddy in the morning will do them all some good. Maybe ask him to throw in a pancake breakfast when you wake up 😉
Wanting Alone Time
I mean we are humans too right? We get tired and overstimulated just like everyone else. So if I want to get my nails done or go to the gym alone, then stay out of my way… and don’t text me that the kids are asking for me. Deal with it. 😉
Supplementing with Formula
This is a huge topic of guilt. I find that moms who breastfeed often judge moms who don’t breastfeed and give their babies formula.
Although I breastfed (pumped) for both of my babies and am a huge advocate for it, I will never make another mom feel guilty for not going that same route.
Do what works for you and don’t feel guilty about it. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula and don’t be ashamed when another mom gives you a dirty look.
I mean come on people, what do I look like I’m doing, feeding my kids poison?!
When the house is a mess
I do like a clean house and more often than not keep it that way. It’s just who I am and I get anxiety if the house is messy and cluttered.
But if the house is a mess, I don’t feel guilty about it. Especially if I was home with the kids all day. Kids like to play and they make messes everywhere they go.
Some days my kids have bad days and just want to be held and want attention. Those are the days I drop everything and just spend time with them. Everything else can wait because they are my most important work.
I love this quote by C.S. Lewis. Just think of this on those days when the house is a mess and nothing on your to do list was completed and stop feeling guilty:
Lose your temper sometimes
I remember one time I was in the car with both kids and we had to run an important errand. I was either really tired or sick and the kids were being extra naughty that day.
They were screaming and fighting and whining non stop.
I pulled the car over and turned around and yelled at them. I mean, I really raised my voice more than usual. I don’t remember what I said but they didn’t even cry. They just sat in silence the rest of the car ride.
I felt so guilty but then I realized, I’m human and I made a mistake. They were after all driving me crazy and I snapped. I was wrong but it happens.
When we got home I put them both on the couch and asked for their forgiveness and explained to them why I was so upset. I explained that they need to listen because I am just trying to take care of everyone and that it really helps me when they don’t fight and when they cooperate.
Of course they were the sweetest, we hugged it out and they forgot about it. Kids are so gracious. There is so much we can learn from their innocence.
All that being said, when is the last time you did something for yourself like sleep in, grab a coffee by yourself or with a friend, get your nails done?
If it’s been a while, I encourage you to schedule something in the next week and go fully enjoy it. Come back refreshed and ready to be the best mom that you already are!
Stop feeling guilty 🙂